Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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