So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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