i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
