me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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