guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
