i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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