I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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