Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
