I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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