Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
