I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
