Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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