I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
