I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
you made out with another girl for some wings
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
