I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
