U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
