So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
