guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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