a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
