they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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