I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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