I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize