If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
