I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
