The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
