he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
