White coat. Heels.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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