So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
