He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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