There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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