so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
