I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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