i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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