you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
