Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
