Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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