i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So many bounce houses so little time
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
