Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
