four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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