Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
