i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
