I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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