we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
