I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
