So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
