Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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