she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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