Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
