I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
