Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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