i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
