You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i drank out of a bidet.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
