someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
